Hiyori SS: A Swaying Heart

When I returned to my dorm room, I sank gently onto the bed, as if lowering myself to rest.

In my hands, I held a single poppy. Simply gazing at it stirred a quiet warmth that gently overflowed within my heart.

At the same time, the image of Ayanokoji-kun in the library came rushing back. I had only just resolved to convince myself that I disliked him, yet in that very moment, he had told me he wanted to see me again tomorrow.

With just those words, my resolve to cut ties with him… had already scattered like dust in the wind.

“To feel this fulfilled,” I whispered, “It’s almost frightening…”

1

Though my heart had been in such turmoil today, yet, somehow, the day had turned into something wonderful.

Even I was stunned by the depth of the emotions I had harbored all this time. I already knew the truth: I have fallen in love with Ayanokoji-kun—as a man, as someone of the opposite sex.

1

I twirled the delicate flower between my fingers, letting a soft sigh slip free.

“It’s alright… isn’t it? For me to keep on loving him like this…?”

I asked the question to the poppy in my hand, though it would never answer me.

Ayanokoji-kun has already broken up with Karuizawa-san.

So, technically, there was nothing wrong with me feeling this way.

But I don't have the courage to confess my feelings, and above all, our classes are still separate.

As we compete for Class A from now on, this feeling probably won't lead in a good direction.

While still in love with him, will I be able to fight against Ayanokoji-kun's class...?

“I..” The word fell from my lips and dissolved into the still air of the room.

I shook my head.

I shouldn’t be greedy. I should remain content with just being a precious friend.

It’s wrong to desire anything beyond that.

Besides, there’s no guarantee that Ayanokoji-kun even sees me that way at all.

4

Just as things are now.

Just like this.

Not too close, not too far.

I think it would be better for my first love to end just like that, faintly.

2

“Surely... that's the right answer, isn't it?”

To the poppy flower, I asked just one more time.