Shiina SS: Keeping Distance

The morning sea shimmered softly, scattering light as though it were made of countless fragments of glass.

I stood alone, watching it, and let my thoughts drift in silence.

What do I want to do from here on? How should I proceed?

I want to cherish the time I spend with Ayanokōji-kun.

And yet, choosing that time may not lead my class in a favorable direction.

“I really am... quite a greedy person, aren't I?” I whispered.

Not long ago, I was prepared to accept that I might never be able to speak with Ayanokōji-kun again.

Even though I was thinking that way, now the fact that such time might exist has become a source of worry.

Since the uninhabited island exam began, Ryūen-kun hasn't asked me for advice even once.

It doesn’t feel like distrust…

Rather, it feels as though I am being kept at a careful distance— handled the way one might handle something delicate.

Ryūen-kun knows how I feel.

That fact doesn’t make me happy, nor does it make me uncomfortable.

But perhaps that knowledge itself is what has created this distance between us.

“What choice is the correct one…”

I ask myself by putting it into words.

The only answer that returns is the faint throbbing of my chest and the gentle sound of waves.

“I want to see him…”

I want to meet Ayanokōji-kun.

I want to talk with him.

My words and my heart repeatedly murmur the same thing.

We passed each other on the ship, but there was no chance to speak.

Even when we disembarked, our paths crossed without a moment to stop.

Once the special exam is over, I will go to see him myself.

I decided. I gathered that small, flickering spark of courage and forged it into a silent resolution.

I continued my solitary stroll along the coast.

I moved with deliberate care, etching the sensation of every step into my memory, determined not to let a single moment fade. I walked with the piercing realization that this daily life was by no means guaranteed to last.

Yes, while strongly realizing that one never knows when happiness will announce its end.