Kushida SS: Suspicious, But...

In order to secure myself a safe, reliable position in Group 3, I wasted no time making my move.

My goal was simple: mingle with the girls from the other classes the way I always did, and quietly deepen those relationships without making a scene.

Dinner on the first day of the special exam was supposed to be the perfect opportunity for that.

But my plan fell apart almost immediately with the arrival of a certain boy.

“Would you like to eat together?”

The person calling out to me was— well, I won't go so far as to say lo and behold, but it was none other than Ayanokōji-kun.

A lone guy suddenly diving headfirst into a flock of teenage girls.

Even if there was no hidden message behind it at all. For me, it was still nothing short of a nuisance. Especially with students from Class D around.

The information had already made its way to me, too. Reliable information that Ichinose Honami, the leader of Class D, harboured romantic feelings for Ayanokōji-kun. I had no desire for Amikura, someone close to Ichinose, to start spreading unnecessary speculation because of something she saw here.

Even so, now that he had spoken to me, the good-girl version of me had no choice but to handle it smoothly.

I accepted his invitation with a pleasant smile, and eventually led the conversation away from the other students.

“What are you trying to pull, Ayanokōji-kun?”

I wanted to know why he had approached me so suddenly, so I got straight to the point.

“Didn't you say you wanted to discuss our plans for tomorrow?”

His words were always like that— a mixture of truth and lies, stirred together so smoothly that I could never tell which was which. I couldn’t trust them.

At this point, I wouldn’t even be surprised if he were acting with the intent of ruining all the effort I’d put in.

“I never said that. Besides, it's not like you actually need my help, right? Honestly, you're just being a massive pain.”

“Is that so? I figured that giving you a chance to prove your worth to the group would satisfy your need for approval. I thought you'd be happy.” he replied, his face remaining entirely unreadable and devoid of emotion, as usual.

It was genuinely infuriating. It really pissed me off.

And yet, for some inexplicable reason, I couldn’t bring myself to hate him completely.

2

This was the exact same person whom I had wanted to murder during the Unanimous Special Exam.

“Don't make me laugh. If it were just you, Ayanokōji-kun, that’d be one thing, but do you have any idea how agonizing it is to be put on a pedestal in front of Shinohara and the others when they already know my true nature? They're just messing with me for their own amusement.”

After watching his attitude this far, I arrived at one answer.

“Though, I suppose I understand that you can't exactly rely on Shinohara or Ike…”

I murmured with a heavy sigh and an air of annoyance, reasoning to myself that being selected through a simple process of elimination was somewhat unavoidable.

“Putting that aside, it looks like you're adjusting quite nicely to your new class.”

“With Sakayanagi gone, they lost their safety net. They probably would’ve rallied around anyone in that position, wouldn’t they?”

“You don't say.”

“If there's something you want to ask, go ahead.”

“It's nothing in particular,”

That was what I thought.

But the moment I said it, one thing that had been bothering me floated up in my mind.

“It's just... the rumors about you right now are endless. I don't believe all of them, obviously, but I've been hearing plenty of things from Class D as well.”

That Ichinose Honami was in love with Ayanokōji.

That something may have happened between them, some event that brought the two of them closer.

Ridiculous.

That was what I told myself.

And yet, ever since I learned about it, an irritation I couldn’t explain had been stirring inside me.

5

Saying it aloud wouldn't change anything. If anything, it would only make the weight of it feel heavier.

“Anyway—”

Thinking about that any further was unpleasant, so I decided to change the subject.

“Having my true nature exposed has been almost entirely a nightmare... but having moments like this where I can just drop the act and speak my mind might be the only salvation."

And using that as an excuse to escape, I started walking.

“Sorry, but I'm heading back. I really don't want to draw any more unnecessary heat from Shinohara and the others.”

“Your double life sounds exhausting.”

Easy for him to say.

He was an outsider to it, so I didn’t want him tossing those words out so lightly.

“It's a little late for that.”

For my own sake, I have continued to wear this mask.

But lately, I’ve found myself wondering.

How long am I supposed to keep doing this?

Until my student life ends?

Even after I enter the society and become an adult?

Even after I get married?

Even after I grow old?

How long───

Just how long will I have to keep wearing this mask───